Every time I sat down at my computer the past three weeks to write this blog, I zoned out. Pre-pandemic Marie, who still shows up from time to time, would stand in major judgment against herself. “What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just push through and get it done? Just try a little harder.” The Marie who is currently living through a pandemic says, “You’ve already done the work. Take a minute to acknowledge yourself.” See, there’s been a lot swirling around in my brain and heart. Sometimes that looks like writing poetry, choreographing a new song, writing a heartfelt blog, or thinking creatively about how to solve a business challenge. And sometimes, it looks like rest. Sometimes, it looks like letting go of expectation. Letting go of constantly putting pressure on myself, my business, my family, to perform in the way I’d like them all to. Mostly, it’s letting go of being in panic mode in order to get things done. And, it's letting go of doing it alone.
See, I’ve realized over the past year or so how much of my perceived success has been motivated by my need to prove myself somehow. To prove my worth. To prove that I’m allowed to be here. And that hasn’t always been a bad thing. I’ve done a lot with that motivation and never fully let go of my creativity in the process. But no matter how much I accomplished: professional training in ballet, scholarships in performance and academics, undergraduate and graduate degrees, performing wherever I went, teaching movement from the age of 11, holding down multiple jobs, helping to launch multiple projects, starting my own thing, growing my family, getting through a pandemic, all while battling depression and anxiety. Nothing ever seems like it’s enough. And I’ve felt alone much of the time, even surrounded by supporters.
I’ve bottomed out quite a few times in my life. And March was one of those times. In the past, I’ve let perfectionism stop me. But this time, all of the personal growth I’ve worked on kicked in. I reached out. Yes, I still wallowed in shame at seeming to have run out of motivation and not yet meeting my goals. But, I talked to my trusted family and friends about it. I allowed myself to stay in the muck and also let people know I was in it instead of hiding. And instead of quitting, I asked for help. I cringe even as I write that. As a brown woman and mother, I am 100 percent someone who falls into the superwoman syndrome category.
My team, friends, and family showed up for me. And they continue to do so. Because the truth is, my body and mind won’t let me rebuild my business the way I built it 7 years ago. This time it’s about letting the support I already have around me more actively carry the load. Just like a bridge needs many supports to sustain itself, it also needs to be able to move and shift as conditions do around it. So here we are. Building a new bridge together. And you are an important part of that. For this bridge to be able to withstand the next force of nature (whatever that may be!) we need you! From the beginning, even though I carried a lot of the stress, Move It has been about a community supporting each other through movement. Our clients and staff have built together what we have today. Friend, it is past time that I reached out to you for support.
Buy from our curated collections at Shop Move It. May's collection, Move It Standards, highlights our favorite items over the past 6 months since launching the collections. All other collections (besides active) will go away at the end of the month and will only be available in person until sold out! Letting go of the old, to make way for the new. Remember, we source items thoughtfully with 90 % of our brands being woman-owned and maintaining at least 30% Black-owned (most collections are higher). Each item is chosen for a purpose, to inspire you and to make the world a better place.